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6 Landlord Jokes that will Make You Laugh (or Cry)

Apartment building owners work hard! Enjoy a break and a chuckle with these 6 Landlord Jokes that will Make You Laugh:

 

A large family, with seven children, had just moved to Vancouver. They were having a difficult time finding an apartment to live in. Many apartments were large enough, but the landlords objected to the large family. After several days of searching, the father asked the mother to take the four younger children to visit the cemetery, while he took the older three to find an apartment. After they had looked most of the morning they found a place that was just right.
Then the landlord asked the usual question, “How many children do you have?”
The father answered with a deep sigh, “Seven…but four are with their dear mother in the cemetery.”
He got the apartment!

 

A man mentioned to his landlord about the tenants in the apartment over his. “Many a night they stamp on the floor and shout till midnight.”
When the landlord asked if it bothered him, he replied, “Not really, for I usually stay up and practice my trumpet till about that time most every night anyway.”

 

Long on egotism but short on cash, the young actor was trying to talk his impatient landlord into waiting for the rent.
“In a few years,” he said, “people will point to this apartment and say ‘Jones the famous actor, once lived there.'”
“If I don’t get my rent tonight,” said the landlord, “they’ll be able to say it tomorrow.”

 

A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. “This place,” the guide told them, “is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years.”
“Well,” said one woman dryly, “they must have the same landlord I have.”

 

A housewife called up a pet store and said, “Send me thirty-thousand cockroaches at once.”
“What in the world do you want with thirty-thousand cockroaches?” asked the astonished clerk.
“Well,” replied the woman, “I am moving today and my lease says I must leave the premises in exactly the same condition I found them…”

 

A superintendent of a large, snooty apartment building got the ultimate revenge when he was called for the umpteenth time to fix a tenant’s clogged toilet.
Going to her apartment, where the female tenant happened to be giving a fancy dinner party for other tenants in the building, the super had to endure her telling all the assembled guests that he was a complete incompetent idiot.
Furthermore, she got them all to go to the bathroom door to watch his clumsiness. He didn’t say anything, but merely concentrated on fixing the toilet, while she kept on complaining about the bad service. So busy was she complaining, that no one noticed when the super reached quickly into his tool bag…
A minute later, he held something up triumphantly and told her and the assembled guests, “I’ve found what was clogging your toilet!”
All the guests broke into shocked laughter, and the woman turned a bright beet red. The super was holding up a large yellow banana with a red condom wrapped around it.
The woman never complained again.